Just a heads up, this is almost a photo-free post (*Shudders*) with the exception of one selfie. Oh and of course rants that I will hopefully enjoy one day when I'm in my 20's and 30's and my daughters will ask me what I was like at 17. I'll read them this. Hope you enjoy anyway!
Today I did something blog worthy with a good friend of mine from Randolph, Julia! You haven't seen her yet, she's not part of the Spice Girls (junior) group we made. No hate, not trying to discriminate, GIRL POWER! Just the way it played out.
If you know anything about me, you will know that I don't really do much. I don't really leave the house, I don't really go anywhere without my mom, Lindsey, Jessica, and/or Callie. So when an opportunity arrived for me to both leave the house and do it with someone that wasn't listed above, I went for it and my mom almost had a mini party sending me out of the house!
Where: Wexford Collegiate
Why: Variety Show that Barb and Anika helped create
When: March 11, 2015
Time: 7:30pm-10pm
Location: Scarborough.
...Yeah. Altogether, according to Google Maps, that's an hour and 9 minute TTC trip from my house. And guess what people, I DID IT!!!!
"I'd like to thank my mom and my dad for always supporting me through all my endeavours, Barb and Anika for telling me about this performance, and of course, I wouldn't be able to do it without Julia. Julia, without you, I would never have been able to get to the school on my own, I would have felt extremely awkward at the show, I would have been too chicken to say hi to Barb, and my parents would never have let me go if your dad didn't drive us home...Thank you! You're the real winner! ...Oh and the academy!"
If that "thank you speech" doesn't tell you about how much of an accomplishment this evening was for me, I don't know what will.
I got dressed really nice. I had some makeup on, I walked to the bus stop like I was Posh Spice. I felt fabulous. Clothes finally are starting to fit me again or are starting to fit me better...I looked and felt great! I didn't even mind that the wind completely ruined my hair. Oh well, nothing stops Poshy!
We decided to meet at St. George Station, the panic of getting lost, being late, and/or not being able to find Julia was on my mind constantly as "If U Can't Dance" played. I'm a worrier. I plan everything so I don't have to worry.
But, Julia came through. And we had a fantastic subway ride together. Then, when we got to the station, we didn't know where we were going. I was the oldest of this two person group. A lot was riding on me (despite Julia being 5 months younger than me...#DecemberBabyProblems). I followed the herd, and we got out to the buses! We waited, then we waited 27 stops until we reached the school.
The nerves set in, as usual when I don't know what to expect. What if they couldn't find our tickets? What if something scary happened? What if? Being the oldest, I asked where to get the tickets. And then I talked to the ticket lady to get the tickets.
We took our seats, saw Barb but didn't want to say hi (social anxiety...She's taught me since I was 7 and I'm scared to wave at her...) and then enjoyed the incredible show. It was really good! Very fun. I was so glad I went, and had such a great buddy like Julia with me.
The bond that you and a fellow Musical Theatre cast mate has is something indescribable. They've seen you mess up and they've seen you win. They've heard you crack your voice half way through a song or they've heard you sing when you could barely talk...and they've also heard you get chosen for a one line solo that suits your voice. They've seen you almost cry from frustration not being able to get a choreography move and have seen how much you sweat and have heard all your grunts during warm up. Heck, they've even seen you barefaced, sweaty, hair in a messy ponytail, and in yoga pants with a matching black t-shirt and sports bra on! They know the true you and you gain this trust that would take years with anyone else that happens in a matter of rehearsals. It's great and possibly one of my favourite parts of doing anything in the entertainment industry. You need their support, they need yours. You need to be able to try something and fail miserably but your cast mates are always there to help you out, cheer you up and on, and remind you how talented you are even when you feel defeated.
After the incredible showcase, we wanted to say hi to Barb finally...But POOF she was gone... We waited awkwardly, the theatre got empty...we walked around outside awkwardly...no bun-headed Barb anywhere.
...I wasn't leaving without saying hi! Julia egged me on to ask someone where she was. A stage crew member...They didn't know who I was talking about. Figures. But then someone told us to try a certain hallway. And we did. No beautiful, bun-headed Barb in sight. We heard other students fangirling over Barb, Anika, and Suzy which made me feel a lot more normal.
You see, my whole life, I have clinged onto adults or just anyone older than me really.
Exhibit A. I am a very lonely, only child. I was raised by Adults and was constantly surrounded by them. I had no choice to speak with them and kids my age were...stupid and immature!
Exhibit B. All my close friends are older than me. Be it by two months or 4 years. They're older. One of my best friends is almost 2 years older than me. I spend lots of time with her.
Exhibit C. I always pick someone way older than me to admire, like Eleni. If she hadn't said hi to me first (I was too shy, she was so much older than 14 year old Erica...She was a superstar in my eyes. Just like all those before her that I've idolized) I would never had known her.
Being in grade 12, I realize how stupid I was to be scared to talk to people older than me. I'd love for a grade 9 to talk with me...But then again, I'm not a typical grade 12 and most people don't feel the same. As well, being in grade 12 means there's no longer anyone to look up to. I am at the very top, my friends. What am I going to do? So...now I've clinged onto...You've guessed it! My musical theatre teachers. They are the ULTIMATE.
They're sweet, funny, caring, smart, kind, honest, encouraging, genuine, successful, best friends, gorgeous, and oh so talented. So now I've began to idolize them...probably since February. They're in my dreams a lot, I dream a lot about the musical. Lots of reoccurring dreams of something I can't blog about because I've told my cast mates and they've all been on board so far...can't ruin the surprise. I digress, long story short, they're my new role models and I was very happy to hear that I am not the only one who thinks of them so highly.
Finally, I spotted it! The blond bun we had been chasing after. We caught up to her, waited. We didn't want to interrupt her conversation. Julia is a lot like me, is nervous to talk to people, and worries a lot. She doesn't like the unexpected either. How was she going to react to us saying hi? We stood there awkwardly. "Say hi, Julia." "No, you say hi. You're older!" GRR! Finally, someone else interrupted her. We took that as our cue.
"Hi Barb," Julia spoke shyly. BUT SHE DID IT!!
Guess what? Barb was very happy to see us. Shocking, isn't it? She hugged both of us and thanked us for coming. We told her about our adventure with the TTC and she said she was proud of us. My mom was extremely proud that I did this too, by the way. Like extremely. This is something so unheard of from me. Barb introduced us to Baby Spice...I mean her sister... who is also very nice! Now all I need to do is meet Scary Spice ;) What a great day! I got a bit of a fill before my slowly emptying heart completely disintegrated from how sad I was that we didn't have rehearsal for two weeks! Julia gets the same empty heart feeling whenever we have a break from Randolph. Sigh...The end is near...I don't want to think about it.
Long story short, JULIA AND I ACCOMPLISHED A LOT OF THINGS WE DON'T USUALLY DO TODAY!!
1. We took the TTC
2. We met up for the first time outside of Randolph
3. We went to Scarborough, by TTC nonetheless
4. We went to some random school to watch their extremely good Variety Show
5. I talked to a lot of strangers to get the right answers, directions, and to get things done. GO ERICA!
6. We walked around awkwardly until we found who we were looking for and DID NOT GIVE UP! I'm so glad we didn't.
7. Julia said hi to Barb first!
8. I became even closer to a new friend than I was before today and I am forever grateful for that. Julia is an incredible gal!
I achieved so much and had a blast doing it. Erica and Julia take Toronto 2015 was a success. Who knows where we'll go next...
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(Hooray for the gum in my mouth and flat hair...But oh well, those proud smiles say it all. A moment I don't want to forget...yes I'm dramatic...I want to be an actress!)
Wish it. Dream it. DO IT!
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